6 YEARS!!!!!!

Well, today is my six year cancerversary :-) For those who aren't familiar with that word it means six years ago today I became a breast cancer survivor because that is the day they found it. Wow, six years, it seems like just yesterday and yet it also seems like a lifetime ago. I remember a time when doctor visits ruled my calendar and every ache and pain sent me into a death spiral down into the depths of complete unadulterated terror. Do I still have nagging thoughts of "what if?" when I feel an unexplained twinge of pain? You bet, but they are growing fainter ;-) Do I still break out in a cold sweat when the phone rings and I am waiting for test results? Absolutely!! Do I think the day will come when it isn't the first thing on my mind when something hurts? I think that day is dawning......

I recently had to have some tests because of a bunch of aches and pains that I have been having. My onc wanted to "be sure" that it wasn't anything and it wasn't. You see, I had to have a total hip replacement in January of this year (I know, I am TOO young, story of my life, right?) and have had all kinds of trouble since then. I was absolutely confident that all the aches and pains I was having were being caused by this surgery so when my doc ordered the tests, I was FINE!!!! I had no anxiety waiting for the appointment, I had no anxiety telling anyone, then the day of the test came. I was fine going in, fine coming out, then I got home and started to get that old feeling again of "what if?". I HATE THAT FEELING!!!!!! I kept telling myself I wasn't going to let this have that kind of power over me anymore!!! With the prayers of my sista's and family arming me, I did fine and all the results were NEG (that is good by the way :-)

So, here I sit, drinking my morning coffee and reflecting on the past 6 years. Thank you to my sista's for helping me through it, thank you to my family for being there, thank you to my husband for putting up with all this crap and sticking by me and thank you to God for bringing me through it. God bless and have a beautiful day everyone!!!