On Eagles Wings....

I lost another sister this weekend to this awful disease! I am just sitting here still in such a funk that it has happened again and knowing that this won't be the last time I mourn a loss like this. As I am sitting here at my computer desk in my office, I am gazing out the window watching two eagles soaring on the winter wind that is blowing so coldly outside.

I am sitting here thinking, how beautiful, how beautiful and graceful they are as they find just the perfect wind to lift them up and push them higher and higher. They look as if they are floating, mid air, held up by something invisible, maybe a string held by God Himself. They look so peaceful and joyous and then in the next breath they look as if they are being cast towards the earth as if that string were cut or God's fury itself were forcing them down and they will surely crash only to catch another gust of wind and be lifted even higher yet.

This is the same freezing cold, -7 windchill, wind that I cursed at this morning going to pick my son up from school. The same wind that felt as if it was going to overcome the power and weight of my car and blow me right off the road. The same wind that bit at the skin on my face painfully bringing tears to my eyes....

Then it hit me....this is it...this is how something can be so painful so agonizing and so overpowering, and, at the same time, be so beautiful, graceful and joyous.

Don't get me wrong, there is nothing beautiful or joyous about losing another sister! But in the pain and agony of this loss, I see the beauty of who she was, the gracefulness of how she lived and the joy of all she gave to us. I see how she took the winds of the storm of her life and used them to push her higher and higher. How when she would get cast down towards the ground as if she would crash she would just catch another wonderful gust of wind and let it lift her even higher than before. No matter how cold, how painful, how torturous or agonizing that wind was, she used it to push herself on, higher and higher and higher.

Well my sweet sweet sister, I will think of you each and every time I see those eagles soaring on the wind. I will remember your strength, your beauty, and your wonderful words. I know that you are with Hilary, Mylette and Dana right now soaring joyously pain and disease free. Godspeed my sweet sweet sister. I will miss you so but I will never forget all you taught me and I will strive to be like you and use the cold cold winds from the storms in my life to soar.....