Something About Hilary

I wrote this as I was on my way to my friend's funeral.....


Something about Hilary, that is what I kept hearing as I shared the news with one more sister, one more friend, one more mere acquaintance as they shed tears with me. Sometimes those tears were for someone they had never even met but for whom they were praying for on my request.

Those words echoed over and over and over- there was just something about Hilary.

One of my sisters in survivorship told me recently that it is painful every time we lose another sister to this awful, senseless beast, but with Hilary she feels more anger, more pain, more of a loss for some reason. That brings us back to that special "something about Hilary".

I have tried and tried again to put into words what that something was--

Grace--

This is one word that came to mind every time I thought about her. Hilary was full of grace so much so that it emanated from her very being. The grace she had for others, for herself, her graciousness, her gracefulness. More than that I think it was her knowledge through this battle that she was living under the grace of our Lord. And, of course, the grace with which she fought this battle to the end.

Tenacity--

Another word that comes to mind when I think of Hil. Boy was she tenacious! When she had something in her mind of what she wanted to do she did it. Starting her own little business ventures, raising money for breast cancer awareness and support and of course deciding when she was ready to move on. Back in April when the Dr's told her she only had two weeks left to live she said, "NO, it isn't time yet!". I believe her tenacity bought her those three extra months- months she used to spend with her family- her daughter, Casey, her son, Corey, and her husband, Randy. I still believe to her final breath her tenacity kept her here. Even to the point of fighting for one more day to make sure her son was taken care of. Tenacity- yes, our Hil was tenacious.

Loving, Supportive, Caring, Strong--

All these words definitely described our Hilary. She showed a love that knew no boundaries, support that could hold you up through the strongest storms in your life and a caring heart that always made you feel engulfed in a warm embrace even if you were miles and miles apart at the time.

One thing Hilary would always say to me when we spoke of our breast cancer was, "you are going to be alright, I know it!". She would say this with such conviction as if she had a special source of information and when she said it I believed it all the way deep down to the depths of my soul.

Gracious, loving, caring, supportive, strong, tenacious-- she was all of this but these words just skimmed the surface of the essence of Hil.

As I struggled to put down in writing, words to describe Hilary, I realized I just couldn't do it. I couldn't describe it- there was just something about Hilary and that something has left a hole in my heart that I know will be there for a long time. That something is what made me love her and that something is what I will miss forever.

God speed my sweet sweet friend, it is now time to lay back in our Lord's very capable arms and let Him love, comfort and support you and us as we pick up the pieces of our broken hearts and try to go on in a world that just doesn't seem quite so colorful or vibrant without that "something that was Hilary".

I had to say goodbye to a dear friend

July 31st my husband and I drove to Cleveland to say goodbye to a dear friend. Not the way you say goodbye when someone is going on a trip or away to school or even moving to the other side of the world. No, we had to say goodbye to a friend who was dying.

Hilary was diagnosed the same week I was and all of our surgeries were within days of each other....THEN we met. We became very close friends and even went on a few extended weekend vacations together. We went in to help them celebrate their 10 year anniversary and renewing of their vows. I even helped her write them.

Now, I had to say goodbye. How do you do that? How can you look someone in the eye and know that you will never see them this side of Heaven again. What do you say?

I told my friend that I loved her, that I will miss her, that I felt so blessed to have had her as my friend and then I kissed her cheek as the tears flowed down mine and said goodbye.........

3 days later, less than 24 hours after her son's adoption proceedings were finalized by her husband, she passed peacefully away. You see, she had made a list the year before of 5 things she wanted to do before she would let this beast take her body. She had wanted to go to Aruba with her husband- DONE, Florida with her kids- DONE, celebrate her 10 year anniversary- DONE, hold a silent auction to raise money for The Gathering Place in Cleveland- DONE, and have her son's adoption process be finalized........done........

What an amazing women she was! What an amazing mother, wife and friend! I feel I am a better person because of her and will miss her everyday of my life.