We made some drastic decisions.
Part of our surrogacy journey has come to an end. We came to the decision that if things didn't happen by a certain date that we would call it quits. It didn't happen.....we called it quits..... sniffle.....
Then, just as has happened so many times in my life, when that door slammed so soundly in my face a streak of sun shown on it through a window. A window that came out of no where and opened to another opportunity.
An angel came into our life. One who offered the possibility of still using a surrogate but using adopted embryos. What a gift this angel brought to us.....literally within days of deciding to stop trying to use my eggs she appeared.....God is good isn't He?
As this was all happening we had to make some hard decisions about where to go next with us. Do I have my ovaries out? After talking with my onc and weighing all sides of it we decided to have Eric get a vasectomy instead. We know that my ovaries haven't worked up to par recently but we also know things happen every day that have no explanations. This was a big decision since it meant facing the truth.....that we really were DONE trying for another child using us as the biological parents. That hurt, it meant giving up a dream that has kept me afloat for the past 5 years. It meant I had to accept the fact that Cameron would never have a biological sibling. I am sitting here with tears streaming down my face as I write this because this wound is still so raw and I don't know when it will heal............ So, another part of my journey has come to an end, and we will see where we go from here.
